Reconciling My Heart-book (Part 4): Keeping Short Accounts

This is the last post of this 4-part series

In my time alone with God, my heart-book showed a large deficit that seemed like it would never be resolved. At first, I thought I’d just have to get used to the discrepancy, ignore the mistakes I made, and figure out the best way to live with them while not overdrawing my account. The only problem was that by ignoring it, I’d just continue to make the same mistakes and the deficit would grow larger.

After a while, I got so used to living with the discrepancy that I shrugged it off with little more than an “oh well.” But the truth is, as my heart’s balance continued to decline, so did my hope, and my loneliness and seeming silence from God only grew larger. It seemed there was nothing I could do to fix it.

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Your Heart: It Matters

Did you know that your heart matters?

Probably more than you realize?

Simply managing your behavior is not enough to address the true issues of your heart. You have to face the contents within if you will ever find healing and freedom. And God, who is Healer and “tries the feeling and the heart,” is the only One who can bring restoration in you and anyone else connected.

Don’t wait. Take the time. Go to Him now. Tell Him everything…yeah, even that scary stuff. Confess your sins one to another. Be reconciled to your brother or sister. You don’t have to carry all those burdens anymore. Take it from one who is learning more and more the depth of this truth: God is here.

(Proverbs 4:23; Jeremiah 11:20a; Matthew 11:28-30; James 5:16; Matthew 23-24; I John 1:8-9; I Peter 5:5-7)

I Feel… (a free-flowing prose)

Like I’m fighting a shadow, a shadow of a life that was never meant to be, an expectation of an ideal never meant to be realized. I’m tired of me, Lord. I don’t want this kind of existence in these spaces, in these places that are still so undefined, redefined by the time and the places, the circumstances that I’m facing and I can’t seem to get my head around. Sigh. Continue reading