Contrived. A difficult word to swallow but that’s what struck me as I wandered the streets of a neighboring outdoor shopping mall in search of my bank’s ATM (which incidentally was erroneously indicated as part of this establishment). It was all so… well… forced. A small town theme in a place where the only point for people being out and about is commercialism. Wow. I sound like one of those crazy anti-capitalism people. You know… those people. I’m not necessarily. Consider me Charlie Brown when I declare that this experience was definitely less than satisfying.
Like I’m fighting a shadow, a shadow of a life that was never meant to be, an expectation of an ideal never meant to be realized. I’m tired of me, Lord. I don’t want this kind of existence in these spaces, in these places that are still so undefined, redefined by the time and the places, the circumstances that I’m facing and I can’t seem to get my head around. Sigh. Continue reading
Reflections on Luke 15:11-32
After reading Jesus’ story of the prodigal son, I’m struck with how much I resonate with this character. As the prodigal, I’ve left the Father to go my own way and take life into my own hands only to make a mess of things and find that life is not there. Will I return home a slave thinking I will only find acceptance and forgiveness if I remorsefully come to You as an indentured servant? Or will I return home humbly accepting Your love, grace, and compassion for me despite what I’ve done, seeing myself through Your eyes as one who stands forgiven because of the righteousness I have in Christ? Continue reading
It’s been a while since I’ve written anything new, so I thought I should give it a try. I’m sitting at my laptop, having deleted the lines from the last three attempts I made to pen something interesting – thoughts about rediscovering hiking this year or musings about my inability to balance my personal interests. I’m losing hope in accomplishing my objective and wondering if this writing thing will end up being yet another short-lived endeavor. Continue reading